Sometimes Khamuel thought that it was the misinterpretations about what he was that had made him even more bitter, twisted, and determined to do bad things over the years. One didn't usually become bad because one actually had a pressing desire to be on the 'evil' side... but the more people thought he was sweet and innocent and childlike, the more he wanted to prove them wrong.

Really, that was one of the things that bugged him the most about having a child's body. People looked at children and made automatic assumptions that they were innocent, that they were good; as if the capability to be bad was something learned only when one became older. With all the time he'd spent in the company of other children over his life, he knew better than anyone that that was absolute crap. Just like anyone, adult or otherwise, children had the capability to be anything. And that included downright evil. In fact, it was the adult's blissful unawareness of this fact that let so many of them get away with it for so long. They only seemed to get caught when they grew up and it became harder to hide.

He supposed that if nothing else, at least that was to his advantage; because he was never going to grow up, physically, then he'd never have to work that much harder to hide the things he did. But still... he was often only doing them to prove something, either to himself, or to someone else. There was nothing quite so satisfying as the shocked reaction from someone who'd mistaken him for a good little boy when they realised just how Not Good he really was. It helped make up for all the condescending pats on the head, pinched cheeks, and ridiculous clothing with entirely too many frilly bits that he'd had to endure over the years.

It had, quite frankly, been a shock to him when he'd met Hanael and been met with instant understanding of who and what he was; when he'd been taken for an equal adult and been automatically held accountable for his actions. There'd been no shock at what he'd done or betrayal at who he was, no insinuations that there was something evil lurking inside him forcing him to do bad things he didn't want to do. Just acceptance of him as a whole and complete person.

And that, more than anything, had made him come to realise how much of what he had done over the years was reaction. Reaction to the complete inability of every living human being to understand that there was more than just a childlike wonder nestled inside his childlike body.

It had been too long now, and he'd become too twisted and bitter; there was no real changing the part of him that enjoyed hurting, shocking, or upsetting others. It was probably even an indication of how twisted he'd become that he didn't want to change that part of him. But all the same... he was finally ready to be something more than just that. To be someone that Hanael might want to share his time with.